Fun Foto Friday—A Chilling Reminder


Remember winters past when you cursed the cold, slipped on sidewalks, dreaded driving, fought the freeze, and shivered while shoveling?

Bet you’re missing it by now, in all this heat:

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How to Sell a Million eBooks on Amazon and Barnes & Noble . . .


. . . is something I ask myself daily.

Excuse me while I engage in a little self-deprecating humor today.  I’m just in one of those moods.  Besides, I’m good a self-deprecating humor because there’s so much about which I can self-deprecate.  Here goes:

What . . . you thought I had an answer to the question posed above?  Would I be here wasting my time doing this if I did?  Isn’t that kind of like buying a video on how to become wealthy in the comfort of your own home?  While only working at your computer two hours and forty-three minutes a day?  While cruising Facebook and Twittering?  As you play Minesweeper?  In between naps?  I mean, think about that for a moment—if somebody knew that secret, would they:

  • be telling you about it?
  • asking you to pay $29.95 for the secret?  They’re already (supposedly) rich, right?
  • selling you something that, if known by too many people, would dilute it’s overall value to them?
  • be wasting their time trying to sell you something to begin with?

HECK NO!  They’d be living it up instead.  They’d be on their ocean-plying, yacht-born computers.  Facebooking and Twittering the day away.  While playing Minesweeper.  In between naps.

Kind of reminds me of that inadvertently revealing sign posted on the door of the Psychics’ Convention—

Cancelled Due To Unforeseen Circumstances

As my literary agent would frequently lament, “Well, I liked it.”  That’s nice to hear.  Doesn’t help pay to put sand in the kitty litter box, but it’s nice to hear.

And then there are those well-intentioned few who try to comfort (Hint:  It doesn’t work; see below):

Friend 1:  “Do you know how many times Stephen King was rejected?”
Me:  “Apparently at least one less time than I’ve been.”

Friend 2:  “I can’t believe this thing isn’t published, especially considering all the crap out there that is.”
Me:  “Care to rephrase that?  You’re not helping.”

Friend 3:  “Have you thought about writing a vampire love story?”
Me:  “Now there’s an original idea that no one else is doing.”

Friend 4:  “Stephen King’s wife fished Carrie out of the trash, and it became a bestseller.”
Me:  “Great.  Do you think you can get Mrs. King over to my house to go through my trash?  Better yet, maybe I should hide a manuscript underneath my underwear pile.”

Friend 5:  “I have this great idea for a story, but I don’t know how to write it.”
Me:  “That makes two of us.”

Friend 6:  “This is as least as good as James Joyce’s Ulysses.”
Me:  “Ulysses is the greatest novel never read.”

Okay, I made that last one up.  I’ve never been compared to James Joyce.  Agatha Christie?  Yes (by Publishers Weekly).  Nelson DeMille?  Yes.  Carl Hiaasen?  Yes.

But James Joyce?  No (and I secretly hope that I never am).

Anyway, if you want to see what all the fuss isn’t about:

The Globe—murder most opulent

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Filed under Author, Books, eReaders, Humor, Writing

Oh, What a Tangled Webb We Weave (Movie Review)


The Amazing Spider-Man

Action, SciFi-Fantasy, Based on the Marvel Comics Character; U.S.; 2012; 137 minutes; directed by Marc Webb (I’m not kidding about that!)

Medium:  Currently in Theaters

Rating:  4.5 ensnared flies (5-fly system)

I went into this movie expecting to get caught up in an intricate web of,  “Pales in comparison to,” the Sam Raimi-directed Spider-Man trilogy starring Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst.  Instead, I discovered an interesting tale that stood much taller—on all eight legs—than any of its predecessors.  I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a bit harsh on Marvel-based movies of late—Thor  (3.0), X-Men: First Class (3.5), Captain America: The First Avenger (3.5), and The Avengers (a far from enthusiastic 4.0).  So, I wasn’t expecting much here.  But this movie really sank its chelicerae into me.  Not only that, but my comic book character-adverse wife positively loved this film as well—no small feat if you know my Ursula.

First, the actors in this movie could actually act.  Don’t get me wrong—Toby Maguire was okay, but he was never in danger of ensnaring an Oscar.  Kirsten Dunst, on the other hand, displayed all the emotional range of an arachnid.

In comparison, Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker (a.k.a., Spider-Man) made you feel the tragedies in his life, the loneliness of being the class science nerd, and the ache in his heart as he admired from afar the infatuation of his life.  And Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy—Peter Parker’s first love—didn’t just Dunst her way through the role; she owned it from her very opening scene to that faint hint of a knowing smile at the very end just before the credits.

Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy

This first of a new trilogy holds much closer to the original comics, as well.  This Peter Parker is in high school, where he belongs, rather than college.  His web-slinging abilities come not from his newly acquired spider powers, but rather from innate genius and finely tuned mechanical skills through his invention of “web-shooters “.  And, of course, Gwen Stacy rather than Mary Jane “MJ” Watson was Peter’s first true love (although in the comics they did not meet until after Peter graduated from high school and entered college).  True fans should appreciate this adherence to the original Spider-Man canon.

Web Shooters

As with most “origination” stories, this movie spends the vast majority of its time setting up the characters and their motivations . . . and that’s a good thing.  From my previous Marvel-based movie review, you know I appreciate substance over pyrotechnics and computer-generated whiz-bang visuals, and this story caters to the thinking audience on all fronts.  Yes, there’s a bit too much CGI, but you can’t even get through a comedy nowadays without that being the case.  But, overall, this is about the story, not about the gee-whiz—and that alone makes the two hours and seventeen minutes of sitting in a darkened theater seem like far less.

Oh, and don’t head for the exits when the credits roll.  As has become the norm with Marvel-based movies of late, there is an introductory clue as to what is coming in the sequel.  Hint:  There’s a reason why the antagonist (Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard) in this movie works for OsCorp and Norman Osborn, and why those references are dropped about the movie like dusty cobwebs in a neglected corner of the ceiling of a deserted shack.  Do I see a Green Goblin in the future?  You bet I do.

Rhys Ifans—appropriately menacing as Dr. Curt Connors. “The Lizard”

Let’s hope this team keeps up the good work in the two planned follow-through pictures.  Alas, if recent Hollywood history is any indication, if they can pull that off in the sequels then they will indeed have performed a superhuman feat worthy of a comic book superhero.  There is, after all, a lot of character development still pending.  For one thing, much of this Peter Parker’s motivations revolve around the mysterious disappearance years before of both his father and mother . . . and that remains unresolved at the end of this installment.  Another clue to the upcoming—Richard Parker, Peter’s father, also worked of Oscorp and Norman Osborn.

By the way, you simply have got to admire the producers of a movie about a web-slinging teenager with spider-like powers who have the sense of humor to hire as a director someone with the last name of Webb.

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