Category Archives: Humor

January 9, 2013 · 5:35 am

Winter is Here . . . Late, but Here Nevertheless

It’s hard to believe that on December 8 — less than one month ago — we were in this:

Z3 Roadster

Seeing sunsets such as this:

Indeed, we had beautiful sunsets on New Year’s Day:

Then just two days later it all turned to this:

Yesterday I couldn’t even get the car out of our neighborhood before getting stuck in the ice and snow at the bottom of the hill. I didn’t get it back up the hill until almost 11:00 that morning, when the street lost it’s sheen of ice and the snow turned to slush. Since I couldn’t get to work, I toiled the day away working in my home office.

As of Saturday we were still suffering the effects from the storm that two days previously had dropped three inches of snow at the airport, and considerably more up here on the mountain where our home is located. When I awoke Saturday morning the car was caked in a layer of ice and the driveway was a slick sheet of sheer slipperiness. Sunrise brought fog and a solid layer of low-lying clouds cast their death-like pall upon the landscape much like Dracula’s castle casts a long shadow at sunset upon the wary villagers far below. Meanwhile, the roadster cowered in the garage, shivering at the prospect that I might take her out before the sun shone once more upon the land.

And you don’t even want to know what this weather is doing to my solar power production. But I’m going to tell you anyway. The day before the storm we produced almost 30 kWh. On the very next day production dropped to 5.54 kWh. The next day saw 8.99 kWh, and Saturday we were back down to 8.01 kWh.

Sunday brought a respite from the clouds, not so much from the cold. But before the clouds completely disapated we were treated to one of the freakiest fogs I’ve witnessed since moving from England back in the mid ’70s. The fog crept up the slopes of the Franklin Mountains, filling the arroyo behind our house on its trek:

Freaky Fog

Meanwhile, facing away from the fog and toward the Franklins we were treated to a spectacular, snow dusted landscape:

Looking the other way toward the mountain

By mid morning all traces of fog were gone and most of the clouds had left us only to return at sunset to give us a spectacular burst of magenta beneath icy cold blue:

Sunday’s Magenta Sunset

All in all, it was a fairly photogenic four days.

Later this month we’ll once again be escaping the dread of winter for warmer climes and water sports. Upon our return I shall fill your heart with photographs of the warm Caribbean sun. But, until then, hang in there. Spring approacheth.

Meanwhile, if you have snow in your area and you want to see how to photograph it so that it doesn’t come out gray and washed out, revisit my article: Honey, Why is the Snow so Gray and Your Face so Dark?

Following those tips you’ll be able to take photographs of snow such as those above or these:

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Filed under Humor, Photography

Tagged as El Paso, photography, snow, sunsets, winter

January 1, 2013 · 9:57 am

May 2013 Bring You Peace, Happiness, and Prosperity

2012. It was a hell of a year, but it’s finally over. What good can be said of this past year? Well, the Mayans blew it, and SEAL Team Six didn’t. If that’s not at least two things about which to be grateful, I don’t know what is. As for the rest, well . . . .

But things are looking up. The wars of the past dozen-plus years are finally winding down. The effects of the economic crashes of 2007 and 2008 and the resulting world-wide depression are finally fading. Both the housing and the investment markets are looking up while unemployment continues to head down.

May the Fireworks Last Throughout the Year

Of course, nobody’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session, but it appears that the adults have finally taken charge and are pulling us back from that stupid, self-inflicted, near-catastrophe called “the Fiscal Cliff” — an idiotic name for an idiotic idea brought to us by a bunch of idiotic legislators who don’t know how to do their idiotic jobs despite their idiotic, overblown salaries.

Let us now hope that they head out of D.C. for a “well-deserved” break . . . perhaps, say, for the rest of the year or so, because that’s about the only time those same legislators seem to actually “earn” their salaries if you base those salaries in terms of not doing damage to the nation and the citizenry.

May the New Year Bring You and Yours Happiness, Peace, and Prosperity

But today is not the day to dwell on the negative. It’s a time to peer toward the future with a sense of optimism and hope. So, let me express with enthusiastic optimism my sincerest hope that each and every one of you has a wonderful 2013.

Things are Looking Up like a Skyrocket on the Fourth of July

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Filed under Author, Humor, Writing

Tagged as Happy New Year, R. Doug Wicker

December 31, 2012 · 5:42 am

Reservations, Restaurants, and Retirement

A very good friend of mine who preceded me into the Air Traffic Control game once told me that he seldom got to attend a controller retirement because, before Congress changed the law, so few controllers made it to retirement. The stresses and shift work took their toll, often resulting in controllers losing their medical before reaching the minimum retirement age required of most federal jobs. Fortunately, that’s no longer the case. Retirement eligibility for a controller now comes after twenty-five years of pushing tin, or twenty years of total time after reaching age fifty. I made it just beyond thirty-four years, but nine of those years were as a staff specialist who didn’t pull shifts and who only worked live traffic for some sixteen hours a month for proficiency, but even so I was a rarity as far as longevity in that career went.

This past Saturday I was honored to attend the controller retirement party of a good friend and a great guy — El Paso controller Dana Reny formerly of Fort Lauderdale Executive Tower and Honolulu CERAP (Center Radar Approach Control — a combined facility performing both en route center and radar approach control functions). Dana managed to serve his country as a controller for twenty-two years before succumbing to the siren call of another far less stressful life.

Congratulations on a well-earned retirement, Dana.

Just how big was this retirement? So big that it took two restaurants to accommodate it. Just kidding . . . sort of. Our first choice was the top-ten nationally rated Cattleman’s Steakhouse at the Indian Cliffs Ranch near Fabens, Texas. We had no less than two people call ahead for reservations at this remote restaurant located some 35 miles from downtown El Paso, only to be told that reservations were not necessary as the restaurant would be able to accommodate our group no matter when we arrived. Well, needless to say, they lied. We showed up at the appointed time — 6:00 P.M. Saturday evening — only to be told that there would be up to a three-hour delay seating our group.

Before I go any further on this I would like to say for the record that Cattleman’s was already far from a favorite of ours, and not because of the long drive. We’ve been to this establishment perhaps three times in thirty years, and in all that time Ursula has yet to get a decent steak there despite the ridiculous prices. There are much better steakhouses in the El Paso area that serve tender, actually edible steaks at much more affordable prices. Nevertheless, we felt it important enough to attend Dana’s retirement that we were willing to give Cattleman’s one last shot.

They blew it. Big time.

So, our group turned around and headed back toward El Paso after receiving telephonic assurances that the Hayashi Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar (a regional chain) would be able to accommodate our now nomadic party. Those assurances were less than truthful, as we were advised that we had two party members too many to seat at one grill station. Two of our group (more good friends of mine) left, ostensibly because of child concerns back home, but I have my suspicions that had the promised seating been available, they would have stayed.

Strike One.

The assembled guests (now minus two) had their orders taken some half hour after our 6:40 P.M. arrival. It was good that we had such a fun group, because not one whiff of food arrived at our table for the better part of two hours after our arrival — around 8:30 P.M. — and then only after several complaints had been registered with the wait staff and management. Well, that’s not quite accurate. We did get a whiff of food — for orders arriving to the next table/grill station — despite the fact that table had a group when we arrived, went through a thorough cleaning when they left, and had another group seated and being served before even our salads were brought to our table.

Strike Two.

By now we were all pretty darned hungry. As a result nearly all of us had ordered appetizers, including sushi rolls. Yet, despite apparently all the time in the world to get the orders right, they were wrong. Ursula and I had ordered a shrimp and vegetable tempura appetizer and one sushi roll. What we got were two sushi rolls — the one we ordered and a shrimp tempura roll . . . and this was after the wait staff attempted to give us someone else’s order.

Strike Three. You’re out. We shall probably not be returning to Hayashi despite two previous experiences and food that, while on the expensive side, isn’t bad. But more on that on Wednesday’s restaurant review of Hayashi. Until then, if you’re in the mood for this type food I highly recommend that you spend your money (and especially your time) at the vastly superior Koze Teppan Grill on El Paso’s West Side.