Category Archives: Movies

July 9, 2012 · 5:43 am

Oh, What a Tangled Webb We Weave (Movie Review)


The Amazing Spider-Man

Action, SciFi-Fantasy, Based on the Marvel Comics Character; U.S.; 2012; 137 minutes; directed by Marc Webb (I’m not kidding about that!)

Medium:  Currently in Theaters

Rating:  4.5 ensnared flies (5-fly system)

I went into this movie expecting to get caught up in an intricate web of,  “Pales in comparison to,” the Sam Raimi-directed Spider-Man trilogy starring Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst.  Instead, I discovered an interesting tale that stood much taller—on all eight legs—than any of its predecessors.  I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a bit harsh on Marvel-based movies of late—Thor  (3.0), X-Men: First Class (3.5), Captain America: The First Avenger (3.5), and The Avengers (a far from enthusiastic 4.0).  So, I wasn’t expecting much here.  But this movie really sank its chelicerae into me.  Not only that, but my comic book character-adverse wife positively loved this film as well—no small feat if you know my Ursula.

First, the actors in this movie could actually act.  Don’t get me wrong—Toby Maguire was okay, but he was never in danger of ensnaring an Oscar.  Kirsten Dunst, on the other hand, displayed all the emotional range of an arachnid.

In comparison, Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker (a.k.a., Spider-Man) made you feel the tragedies in his life, the loneliness of being the class science nerd, and the ache in his heart as he admired from afar the infatuation of his life.  And Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy—Peter Parker’s first love—didn’t just Dunst her way through the role; she owned it from her very opening scene to that faint hint of a knowing smile at the very end just before the credits.

Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy

This first of a new trilogy holds much closer to the original comics, as well.  This Peter Parker is in high school, where he belongs, rather than college.  His web-slinging abilities come not from his newly acquired spider powers, but rather from innate genius and finely tuned mechanical skills through his invention of “web-shooters “.  And, of course, Gwen Stacy rather than Mary Jane “MJ” Watson was Peter’s first true love (although in the comics they did not meet until after Peter graduated from high school and entered college).  True fans should appreciate this adherence to the original Spider-Man canon.

Web Shooters

As with most “origination” stories, this movie spends the vast majority of its time setting up the characters and their motivations . . . and that’s a good thing.  From my previous Marvel-based movie review, you know I appreciate substance over pyrotechnics and computer-generated whiz-bang visuals, and this story caters to the thinking audience on all fronts.  Yes, there’s a bit too much CGI, but you can’t even get through a comedy nowadays without that being the case.  But, overall, this is about the story, not about the gee-whiz—and that alone makes the two hours and seventeen minutes of sitting in a darkened theater seem like far less.

Oh, and don’t head for the exits when the credits roll.  As has become the norm with Marvel-based movies of late, there is an introductory clue as to what is coming in the sequel.  Hint:  There’s a reason why the antagonist (Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard) in this movie works for OsCorp and Norman Osborn, and why those references are dropped about the movie like dusty cobwebs in a neglected corner of the ceiling of a deserted shack.  Do I see a Green Goblin in the future?  You bet I do.

Rhys Ifans—appropriately menacing as Dr. Curt Connors. “The Lizard”

Let’s hope this team keeps up the good work in the two planned follow-through pictures.  Alas, if recent Hollywood history is any indication, if they can pull that off in the sequels then they will indeed have performed a superhuman feat worthy of a comic book superhero.  There is, after all, a lot of character development still pending.  For one thing, much of this Peter Parker’s motivations revolve around the mysterious disappearance years before of both his father and mother . . . and that remains unresolved at the end of this installment.  Another clue to the upcoming—Richard Parker, Peter’s father, also worked of Oscorp and Norman Osborn.

By the way, you simply have got to admire the producers of a movie about a web-slinging teenager with spider-like powers who have the sense of humor to hire as a director someone with the last name of Webb.

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May 30, 2012 · 12:00 am

The ThorIronHulkAmerica Extravaganza (Movie Review)


The Avengers

Action, Drama, Fantasy.  2012, U.S., 142 Minutes, directed by Joss Whedon

Medium:  Currently in Theaters

Rating:  4.0 (5-point system)

I’m certainly going to take heat for this one.  I can feel it already.  But onward I shall venture into this review on the latest frolicking flight-of-fancy filled fiesta for fanatical fans of fantastical fiction from Marvel Comics—The Avengers, comprised of Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans), Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and second-tier Avenger characters Natalia Romanova/Black Widow (Scarlert Johansson) and Clint Barton/Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner).  Samuel L. Jackson returns as S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury, only this time you’ll see him throughout the movie rather than during the end credits.

Marvel Studios has been building up anticipation for this event since at least 2008, beginning with the first Iron Man movie, and continuing right through Edward Norton’s turn as Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Captain America, and Thor.  I’ve already given reviews on two of these lead-in films — Captain America (3.5 rating)and Thor (3.0 rating)— so if you’ve seen those blogs then you probably know where I’m heading with this one.

Let’s face it:  Of all the characters previously mentioned, only one is well-rounded enough that you enjoy watching him whether he’s in his superhero guise or in his civilian alter ego.  That character is Robert Downey, Jr’s, superlative take on the comically ego-driven, every sardonic Tony Stark/Iron Man.  The rest of the characters fall far short . . . with the possible exception this round of Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner/Hulk.  When I found that Edward Norton was not going to reprise the role, I was more than a tad disappointed.  Mr. Norton did a remarkable job back in 2008.  Well, Mark Ruffalo must have shown up at the studio with his game face on and knowing full well that he had some very big shoes to fill, because he managed to at least equal and possibly even surpass Edward Norton in the role.

But these bright spots were dragged down by the wooden portrayals of Thor and Captain America (although I found that this time Chris Hemsworth was much more enjoyable to watch than was Chris Evans—just the opposite of what I found in their standalone movies inside the same characters).

Not so with the second-tier Avenger characters of Black Widow and Hawkeye.  I really enjoyed the introduction of Scarlett Johannson’s Black Widow character and her “interrogation” of her captors near the beginning of the film.  And Jeremy Renner (who was called upon to play both good and bad characters) did an admirable job as Hawkeye.  It’s unfortunate that they so overshadowed the portrayals of the film’s two Chrises—Evans and Hemsworth—and by so wide a margin over Chris Evans in particular.  This is not how a tiered ensemble effort should work, but the fact that it did here is testament to the abilities of the actors involved.

And then there was Tom Hiddleston’s deliciously evil turn as Thor’s adopted brother Loki.  If you need an effective foil to match the aforementioned combined characters, this is the guy who can (and did) pull it off, all on his own, totally solo.  It was an impressive feat, to say the least.  Bravo, Mr. Hiddleston.

As for the plotting and various subplots—they meshed well together and served to build toward an adequate climax.  Unfortunately, as is the bane of modern movies in general and most superhero films in particular, the whole thing degenerated into a computer-generated special effects love fest that detracted from individual stories and left me muttering, “Will this maddening mayhem ever end?”  And considering the cost of movies today, that’s not what I want to be muttering to myself near the end of a two-hour and twenty-two-minute film.

Alas, I feel I may be in the minority on this opinion.  When was the last time you heard an audience spontaneously erupt into applause at the end of a film?  That this movie had such an effect on so many is the reason I stepped up my rating a notch and took it to four stars rather than allowing it to suffer the same fate I bestowed upon X-Men: First Class.  To do otherwise would have shown a callous disregard for an impressive display of approval by those around me.

But my companion this matinee was not nearly so kind.  Admittedly, Ursula is not one for movies based upon comic book characters, and she found the whole thing excruciating to sit through.  Her rating:  2.5.  That’s based upon the tedious, special effects-laden ending and the overwhelming number of competing personalities brought together in one film.  Of course, being Swiss born and raised, her exposure to these characters is minimal at best.  Her only familiarity comes from the preceding lead-in films.  Thus, the lesson here is don’t take your Swiss date to an Avengers film.

In the end, the movie is definitely a big screen affair.  And we may have enjoyed it even more in 3D (also available at selected theaters), but we find 3D not worth the headaches.  Literally.  So, unlike my review of Dark Shadows, I’m going to recommend that you take in this summer film at the local cinema rather than waiting for its availability either as a pay-per-view event or a DVD/Blu-ray rental.

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May 21, 2012 · 6:00 am

From Soap to Primetime to Big Time—The Evolution of Barnabas Collins (Movie Review)


Dark Shadows

Drama/Comedy, Gothic Horror, Fantasy; U.S.; 2012; 113 minutes; directed by Tim Burton

Medium:  Currently in Theaters

Rating:  2.5 (5-point system)

Dark Shadows.  Almost nobody my age can forget it.  It gnaws at you.  It takes you by the throat.  It leaves you thirsting for more.  But enough of the vampire clichés and puns.  Let’s talk a little about what this cultural phenomena was for those too young to have experienced it.

Dark Shadows started out as a gothic soap opera back in 1966, and at first it was a certified bomb . Gothic didn’t sell back then, and Dark Shadows faced cancellation only six months after its debut.  Dan Curtis, the show’s creator, decided to go out in style, and suddenly ghosts started appearing . . . in a daytime soap opera!  But things didn’t really take off for Dark Shadows until 1967, with the introduction of Barnabas Collins.  Barnabas was a 200-year-old vampire who had been entombed by his father—a man who could not bring himself to destroy his beloved son despite his horrendous affliction.

Jonathan Frid—the original Barnabas Collins

And how did Barnabas come to be afflicted with this curse?  He severely ticked off the wrong lady.  He had an affair with the maidservant of his fiancée, Josette du Pres from Martinique.  Unfortunately for Barnabas, that maidservant was Angelique Bouchard, a witch whose extraordinary powers were only exceeded by her extraordinary vindictiveness.  Angelique summoned up a bat who bit our hero, transforming him into a hideous and foul creature of the night bent on converting Josette so that she might spend eternity with him.  In her disgust and horror, Josette leapt to her death.  Pretty good setup.  Complicated, but good.

Fast forward two centuries later.  Barnabas is released from his tomb and returns to the family estate as a ‘long lost cousin from England,’ whereupon he meets Maggie Evans, a resident of Collinsport, Maine, and the apparent reincarnation of his love Josette du Pres.  And if all that isn’t complication enough, Angelique has resurrected herself, taken the name of Cassandra Blair, and maneuvered Roger Collins into wedding her and bringing her into the Collins family mansion where she can continue to make Barnabas’ life a living hell.

As one might expect, the ratings shot through the roof.  But the demographics weren’t your typical housewife.  Suddenly, all across the nation, kids were rushing home and tuning in to watch the bloody mayhem.  Unfortunately, back then kids didn’t steer the family budget and what products to buy with it.  Despite huge ratings the series was cancelled in 1971.

But everyone knows you simply cannot keep a really great vampire dead for long.  In 1991 the series rose from the grave and into prime time on NBC with Ben Cross as Barnabas Collins.  Maggie Evans was no longer the reincarnation of Josette.  That person now resided in the Collins family governess, Victoria Winters.  But, despite great ratings, NBC sabotaged their latest hit by shuffling it around their schedule during Gulf War I.  After only thirteen episodes fans were left confused and bewildered by the lack of schedule consistency, and Dark Shadows once again had a stake driven through its heart.

Ben Cross as Barnabas Collins

Until 2004.  WB Television Network commissioned a pilot starring Alec Newman.  This time WB staked our hero and put him back in the ground without ever airing the completed pilot.

Now it’s 2012, and Barnabas has risen from the grave for a fourth time.  This Barnabas (Johnny Depp) however is played with much more humor than in past incarnations.  The characters of Maggie Evans and Victoria Winters have been rolled into one—a former mental patient named Maggie Evans (Bella Heathcote) who has changed her name to Victoria Winters.  Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) is back as well, and she’s just as vindictive, evil, powerful and even more libidinous than ever.

Johnny Depp’s interpretation of Barnabas Collins

This 2012 resurrection is lighthearted fun.  And that’s the problem.  Dark Shadows was never meant to be lighthearted fun.  Dark Shadows was designed to terrify school children, which is something it did quite well from 1967 until 1971.  Later, it mesmerized these same children, now grown up, in prime time, and introduced the character of Barnabas Collins to a whole new generation of children . . . until NBC programmers sabotaged it.

What’s disheartening here are a number of faux pas that should and could have been easily avoided.

First off, this Barnabas seems to relish in telling all his descendants that he’s a vampire rather than taking the more prudent course of concealing his cursed existence.  The 1972 setting works, but what’s with all the gags concerning ’70s pop culture?  It all seems so out of place in a tale of vampires, witches, revenge, and loves lost.  Sure, there are a few good lines (Caroline Stoddard:  “Are you stoned?”  Barnabas:  “They tried stoning me once, my dear.  It did not work.”), but the humor seems forced and comes off as contrived and irrelevant to the myriad plots and subplots.  And then there’s Mr. Depp’s ridiculous makeup for the part—an unfortunate cross between Count Orlok in the silent classic Nosferatu (check out the long, spidery fingers and extended fingernails) and the pastie-faced zombies in Shawn of the Dead.  Part of the terror was not knowing that Barnabas is a vampire.  One look at Johnny Depp’s version and all doubts are removed—there’s something definitely wrong with this dude.  Finally, the sudden transformation of Caroline Stoddard (no, I’m not going to reveal it) was jarring, distracting, had no logical setup or continuity within the story, and was positively ludicrous in the extreme.  For that one scene alone I deducted a half point from my overall rating.

Fans will probably enjoy spending a couple of hours with a demonic “friend” from the past, but ultimately they’ll leave unsatisfied.  People unfamiliar with the legacy of Dark Shadows may get a few unexpected chuckles out of it, but not enough to carry the day.  In the end it would have been better for all concerned if this Barnabas Collins had been left entombed in Tim Burton’s mind rather than let loose upon unsuspecting theater goers.  It’s definitely worth a rental, but it’s not worth even matinee prices.

Or better yet, do yourself a favor and find a copy of the 1970 film House of Dark Shadows to view instead.  Unfortunately, that one doesn’t seem to be available on Netflix.

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